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Rach

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

6:52PM - School

So I have 8 more days of classes. I am at my breaking point of anxiety and depression. I am to the point where I am even too anxious about studying to actually study. Please let me get through this last bit of school. I am so excited to move home and get to see Bubbie more and be able to relax. Please Please Please
Love,
Rachel

Monday, July 18, 2011

8:35PM - school

I did it again....I did not study enough and now I want to break down and cry. I want to get the grades I want, but at what price? I have to work harder and take school more seriously. Please do not let the test I took tonight ruin my grades. Please?

Monday, June 13, 2011

8:41PM - school

So today I had my first pharmaceutics 2 test and I messed up. I skipped a problem...ugh I want to cry...Please let me get through school with good grades and everyone I love with me
Love,
Rachel

Saturday, June 11, 2011

6:44PM - school

I have my pharmaceutics test, communications lab test and pcol test this week...I want to cry...Please let me do well and not freak out...I want school to be done with...It stresses me out too much

Monday, December 13, 2010

5:46PM - school

My pcol/med chem final is tomorrow and it makes me want to cry. I am so nervous that I have spent more time thinking about studying than actually studying. I want all As this semester so I can take a break. I really really really want As.

Monday, December 6, 2010

9:17PM - school

My first of two finals is tomorrow and I am freaking out....I really really really want to do well and not be mad all next semester because i could have done better. I want to go on vacation and be able to relax knowing I got the best grades I can get and kept my GPA up where I want it to be. I want my family to stay proud of me.

Friday, November 12, 2010

3:10PM - Second Co-op

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know which company is the best choice. I hope I make the right decision.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

8:51PM - school

Why can't things just go back to how they used to be? I was the kid and my parents and Bubbie and Zadie took care of me. Now I feel like an adult and do not want to be. I need a time machine.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

5:59PM - overwhelmed

I am back at school and legit cannot handle this....I am so stressed already about what I am going to have to do that I fell sick. i just want to cry all the time. I want to go home.
I really really really want to do well on my first quiz tomorrow and get through another semester doing well.

Monday, April 26, 2010

11:50PM - final exams....

the orgo. II final is tomorrow....I really really really wanna do well....why can I not concentrate on studying? I am gonna be so upset if I do not do well. I also do not want to be 20. I want to stay a kid forever. I do not want anything to change. I really really really hope that my Auntie Rita is gonna be okay. I love her and never get to see her and that is my fault. I miss her.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

1:27PM - School

I wasted my spring break. I cannot believe I did that. I should have done so much work and had a much less stressful week this week and rest of the semester but I did not do anything. How can I be so dumb? I wanted to relax, but I did not have the time to take a week off. I have so much to do. I want this semester to go well. I do not want to ruin the grades I have gotten so far and I am sooooo nervous about them. There is so much to think about and process and I hope I can get it all straightened out. My mind is always in a million places and stretched in every direction and I want it to end. I want to have all of the tests behind me and feel good about how I did on them. I went to see my Bubby on Sunday and I wish I could see her more.
She as been there a year, as of Sunday. I cannot believe it. I miss her sooooo much. I was sooooo mean to her when she lived with us and I wish there was some way that I could take it all back. I do not know why I never realized ow important we was to me. She is everything to me and I cannot lose her. She wants me to do good in school and I want to for her. I want her to be proud of me. I love her. I miss the ways tings used to be.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

4:22PM - Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

This is the third week back. I cannot even remember what it was like to be on vacation. I am way too stressed out all the time. I need to be home. I miss everything about high school. I definitely took it for granted when I lived at home all the time. I never have free time. There is always something to study or read or work on. I never thought I would get a job before I had too and I did and it stresses me out too. I have to work all weekend and have so much to do. Te first Orgo. Test, well quiz, is tomorrow and I am so nervous. I know what I am doing, but he could put anything on that test. I ope I do okay and can be happy. I love my family and want to be wit them all the time.

Monday, January 11, 2010

6:42PM - School

I am back at school and so unhappy. I spend all of my time crying and freaking out. I need to stop. I need to graduate. There is so much to do in such little time. I am working more this semester....I want everything to turn out alright.
My mom went back to work today. I hope she feels okay tonight. I was probably really hard for her to work after so long. I miss her so much. I miss being a kid. I miss being their little baby and not having a care in the world. How did I not realize how good I had it? Everything is so much harder now and I am so nervous about the future.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

4:42PM - ugggggg

physics final tomorrow and physiology final friday....where did the semester go? I really really really want to do well on these last finals and enjoy my break.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

9:00PM - Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

orgo. final tomorrow. I really really really want to do well. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

12:52PM - School

I took my mom shopping last friday for the first time in over two weeks....it was really fun....I did not realize how close we were until this year. We are legit like best friends. I am so happy that she is okay and that we can go real shopping soon. I miss that.
five finals away from winter break. I know that I will not enjoy break unless I do well though. The biggest one is Orgo. It is one of the only cumulative ones....which is actually helpful because I understand the stuff from the beginning of the semester....well I will after I review it today and tomorrow.Of course that test is first though. I really really really want to do well on my finals and finish the semester strong. I worked hard all semester and I do not wanna lose all that on finals.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

4:57PM - school

I took an Organic Chemistry test today and really blew it. I really really really want to do well and that this does not affect my grade.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

7:41PM - School

My life is so much happier at home. I love my family and stuff and I do not want to go back to Boston in the morning. There is always so much schoolwork to do and so many tests to study for and it is way too stressful. I literally make myself sick over it. I now come home every weekend and everyone at school hates me for it but I really do not care because it is my life. If there was a pharmacy school in Swansea I would be there in a heartbeat. I miss my old life, I miss my family, I miss the summer, I miss being a kid.

Monday, November 16, 2009

5:50PM - home

Why are there no colleges in Swansea?
I miss my life....
I am wayyyyy to stressed here....I never have time to relax....I nerve myself all up before tests and make dumb mistakes....
I am stressed about my mom....we are closer than ever and I want it to stay that way....

Monday, September 21, 2009

12:56PM - sophomore year

ok so I miss summer soooo much....I knew I would though because I hate the stress of schoolwork so much that I avoid it at all cost and put more stress on myself. I have been home both weekends so far....and I might be going back friday night....
I am so scared to like fail pharmacy school....there is just so much to do and there are only 13 weeks until winter break. I have to learn so much and get so much done in that time and I am nervous....
I wanted to keep my GPA up and I don't know how that will ever happen with my lack of drive right now.....
first tests are in two weeks....freaking out.....
I just want to be home all the time I am so close to my family and matt and this blows....talking on the phone is not the same. I just want to cry lie all the time. I am def not a city person and did not miss anything about being here. I am happy with my choice to come here and I love the campus and stuff but I just would rather be home.
I worked all weekend....I love my job I just feel dumb sometimes and I do not want my co workers to tell my mom they think I am dumb. I also hate that I did not feel like I even went home at all this weekend because I was always at work. I would rather work full time then go to school and work. That is why I am so looking forward to co-ops....it will be amazing to live at home with my parents again....

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